would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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