just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
