No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
