We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
