Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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