I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
