some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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