what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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