you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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