why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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