i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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