i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
