I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
