I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
