she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
