New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
