Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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