My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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