Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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