People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
