I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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