god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
