Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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