I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
