hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
