Please, let me fuck your mom
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
