you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
