i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
