Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
