So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
