Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
handjob tips. give me some.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
