anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
