just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
