glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
