Screwed.edu
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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