I cannot find my penis.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
