So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
