Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
