There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
