you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
