I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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