I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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