At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
