you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
