NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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