She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
