are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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