So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate your face
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize