HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
