She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
